Sunday news: useless NYT edition

Nothing really jumped out at me today in the NYT, except for one magazine piece.  Somehow I'm just disinterested in the Iraqi election or the latest gossip on healthcare reform.  Anyway, here goes.

• In said magazine piece, a discussion on the importance of teachers in educating students, and how to make those teachers teach better, as apparently it's teaching is the most essential ingredient in education, and not necessarily funding or testing.  Who'da thunk?
• DC mayor Adrian Fenty is a corrupt little whiny-pants who funnels huge sums of government money to his friends.  At least Marion Barry was corrupt but personable.  This is why you should vote for Buster, who is currently preparing his mayoral campaign. 
• It amuses me to no end that an article on political buffoonery features a photo of Michael Steele.
• A piece on how Toyotas aren't inherently death traps, which is why I still hope to buy another one in the next year or so, if I can raise ye olde cash.   

See, the news is much more fun when you ignore the things that people are panicking over. 

Why losing Vilsack's candidacy is bad for America

I have no particular loyalty to Tom Vilsack, the former Iowa governor who Friday dropped out of the race for the Democratic presidential nomination. I had heard his name tossed around in 2004 as a potential running mate for John Kerry, and that's about all I knew of him. But as we know, the 2008 race is already shaping up to be the most expensive campaign in history. This reality killed the Vilsack campaign. It simply couldn't gain a foothold in a crowded field that includes several heavy hitters.

Admittedly, a lot of total loonies run for office at all levels each year. There's always some yokel from the middle of nowhere who gets his name added to the presidential ballot in some state, just because he got a lot of people to sign a petition. But Vilsack was at least someone who could claim to have bona fide political and administrative experience to offer. Again, I don't know much about his positions on this or that, but I would've liked the chance to learn. And it shouldn't cost him or me hundreds of millions of dollars to hear it.

What's most disturbing though is this quote from Vilsack's bowing out speech:

“I came up against something for the first time in my life that hard work and effort couldn’t overcome. I just couldn’t work harder, couldn’t give it enough.”

Should money really be the factor that determines a person's viability as a candidate, especially for the presidency? Of course not. Hard work and effort should matter, not cash on hand. Furthermore, the media should be better about giving equal attention to candidates, rather than brushing some off as unelectable before they can even get going, but that's a whole different issue.

Relatively smart person agrees with me!

David Broder, who is actually a fairly respected columnist, has endorsed my position that presidential campaigning is now a far too long and drawn out process. He even offers some decent suggestions to fix this problem, which may even be better than my own suggestion for us all to go live in caves for the next 18 months.

So there you have it folks, this little-read blog is inspiring greatness!

Lookit all them people goin' presidentin'

BREAKING: As of today, 600,052 people are running for president in 2008, and they all want your attention RIGHT NOW.

You, the idiot voter (and let's face it, you're pretty dumb), need to be aware that the future of America is at stake. Furthermore, you need to be reminded of this approximately 8.2 trillion times before 4 November 2008.

In order for me to spare you some of the impending agony, allow me to summarize the next two years for you.

Democrats, once done bashing each other as they either race to the middle, the left, or some obscure point in between, will basically be chanting "George W. Bush is a sonofabitch and I, Hillabama, can do a helluva lot better, along with my trusty sidekick [insert name of person I beat to a pulp in most primaries but adds geographic or even *gasp* racial or gender diversity to my ticket here]. After all, I didn't fuck up a war or sell the country to Chinese creditors. And don't forget the children!!! Oh, the precious children!"

Republicans, on the other hand, will be mildly more subdued, at least once their field of candidates figures out just how right of center they should be. Their message for the general election campaign will be as follows: "Hi, I'm John McCain, and you should know that I was against George W. Bush before I was for him, and then against him, and then for him, and then against him, again. Anyway, that doesn't matter. I'm here to WIN! Plus, me and Rudy got enough guns between us to take care of whatever terrorists threaten our oil or our money. Who wouldn't want a rootin'-tootin' maverick cowboy and a badass I-talian running the country, together?"

There you have it friends. Do yourselves a favor and cut your cable lines, remove the antennae from your radios, and block all news websites on your computer. Get yourself an iPod and a Netflix account, because we have now, finally, entered...

The Era of the Perpetual Campaign (TEPC).

Don't forget to vote on Tuesday, 4 November 2008.