16 May 2007

Post-graduation survival guide

Congratulations! You've just finished an overpriced and underuseful graduate degree. Here's what you do after the whole walking for the family thing:

That day (Day 0): Have picnic, fly kite, send family back to little circle of hell from whence they came.

Day 1
: Sleep, do silly things, update resume. Toy with the idea of putting initials behind your name on every piece of paper, ever. Drop that idea when you realize you're still just a schmuck. Greet successful, well educated friend at airport and take her to successful, well educated person conference. Help another college friend move and listen to her talk about her job (among other things). Realize you should find one of those job things.

Day 2
: A little more sleep (this is a high maintenance mom visit you're recovering from, after all), inform temp service of new availability. Clean out school bag and place in closet. Find tie you've been missing since December in secret pocket of once and future everyday bag.

Day 3
: Go to new temp assignment. Come home to find first loan bill in mailbox. Shit pants. Call loan company that you never borrowed from but swears you owe them money right now, and inquire "where the fuck is my deferment, bitches?!?" Defer loan. Proceed to panic, but realize you just deferred your loan, and are again in the clear.

Day 4 (tomorrow)
: Begin job search for serious. Contemplate retail therapy, but recall that you're almost out of money. Do more temp work instead.

No comments: