Warning: Left handed persons may revolt; Brooke Shields descended from royalty

As part of its riveting coverage of world conflicts and social phenomena, the Washington Post has shared with us two incredibly enthralling pieces this day. This is a particular feat, given that so much else is going on in the world right now that we might otherwise forget such pertinent information.

1. Today is International Left-Handers Day. That's right (snicker), the silent minority has its own day. Apparently they even want events and such. Additionally, there is some frustrating apathy among lefty activists. However, this particular rabble-rouser could be predicting a whirlwind of future social change -- if only that whirlwind can get off the ground.
2. Brooke Shields, and indeed most every white person on earth, is descended from European royalty. In fact, we may also all be descended from the Prophet Muhammed (which I'm sure has national security implications not yet fabricated). Perhaps most frightening though is that up to 80% of English people are all descendants of one man!
   

With all this helpful news, who needs peace deals and HIV statistics?