06 March 2007

Dear DC dog owners...

I don't know whether or not the cold weather has caused a recent spike in laziness among the dog owners in my neighborhood, but I do know that I'm sick of their shit. Walking around has increasingly become a potentially messy undertaking during the past month or so, and now I've finally had enough.

The final offense was just sick. I was walking home just now with a bag of productivity enhancing treats from the Columbia Road Safeway. As I was walking, I was thinking about eating tasty cookies and getting some work done. Then I smelled something foul.

Lo and behold, there was some dumb lady with her dog, as it took a shit.





No, not in the little planter box thing right beside the sidewalk, but on the sidewalk itself, as people like me were walking by.

I was offended. I was outraged. Scowling was involved. The dignified little old lady behind me let out a loud "mmph!" and crossed the street. My outrage was slightly mitigated by the fact that the moron at least had a bag at the ready to scoop her poop, but as the impending joy of cookie eating was replaced by the sight and smell of a dog defecating, outrage was the dominant feeling.

So that tears it. Dog owners beware. I am both passive aggressive and have a bad attitude. Who knows what hell I may choose to rain down on you should I bear witness to your irresponsible pooping habits. And if you don't want to clean up after your pet, then you need to get rid of it. I dutifully clean my bunny's litter box and sweep up his stray little poop balls. You do the same with your animal. And if the notion scooping up poop in a plastic grocery bag and indignantly carrying it around offends you as much as it offends me, then perhaps the dog was the wrong choice, you fucking dumbass.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

My 'burb has been plauged by this as well. Why, why, why?